Have you ever had one of those moments where you’re about to do something, and your whole body is screaming at you not to do it?
Well, this was definitely not one of those moments.
This was a “yes” moment. Alex and I had been waiting so long to stand where we were standing, wearing what we were wearing, telling the world in no uncertain terms, “we are team Fort, and we are in this for the long haul.” We were beyond ready, and feeling completely unafraid by each other’s sides.
In the months leading up to this occasion, we spent many hours talking about our views on marriage, our relationship, and friendship, poured through books and poetry for passages that reflected those views, and then formulated those thoughts and readings into a hand-written ceremony. Although we had read it aloud many times before while editing (and editing some more!), my heart jumped to my throat, and my eyes welled with tears as our officiant, Elaine, began, “We are gathered here today…”
The ceremony began with an acknowledgment of our dear friends and family, then proceeded to discuss our views on marriage as a legal union, intended for mutual joy and comfort, sustained with friendship and respect.
What followed was a reminder that marriage should enhance, not diminish each other’s personal spirit, and a call to be mindful of each other’s individuality, which we felt was exemplified in the first passage we chose, “On Marriage”, by Kahlil Gibran:
You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when white wings of death scatter your days.
Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together, yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.
As the reading ended, I was overcome with emotion. I was ecstatic, but tearful, as faded images of our six year relationship raced through my mind, and the realization that it was all culminating in marriage, started to hit me.
And then…it was time to make it official.
“The vows you will now repeat are a statement of your love, commitment, and intent to be each other’s greatest ally and unwavering companion as you continue on your journey.”
Trembling even harder, I felt more vibrant and alive in that moment than I ever had before.
We said our traditional vows,
and exchanged rings as a symbol of our love, friendship, and commitment to each other. We were actually becoming husband and wife! Excited smiles swept across our faces as we joined hands once more. There was one more reading to be done, and then…the moment we’ve waited so long for.
As we pieced together our ceremony in the months preceding the wedding, we perused our favorite books for a passage we loved, and settled on this one from The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy:
They looked at each other for a moment.
The moment became a longer moment, and suddenly it was a very long moment,
so long one could hardly tell where all the time was coming from.
For Arthur, who could usually contrive to feel self-conscious if left alone for long enough
with a Swiss Cheese plant, the moment was one of sustained revelation. He felt on the sudden
like a cramped and zoo-born animal who awakes one morning to find the door to his cage
hanging quietly open and the savannah stretching grey and pink to the distant rising sun, while
all around new sounds are waking.
He wondered what the new sounds were as he gazed at her openly wondering face and her eyes
that smiled with a shared surprise.
He hadn’t realized that life speaks with a voice to you, a voice that brings you answers to the questions
you continually ask of it, had never consciously detected it or recognized its tones till it now said something
it had never said to him before, which was “yes.”
The ceremony was coming to a close, and our excitement escalated, knowing that in just a few moments, we would be spouses.
“Finally, as you continue on your journey as a marred couple, I urge you: ‘Don’t panic,’ be kind with your words and actions, love deeply, laugh hardily, and most of all, have fun!”
And then the the words we so desperately wanted to hear:
“By the powers vested in me by the state of Washington, I now pronounce you husband and wife.”
“You may kiss your bride!”
Introducing Mr. and Mrs. Fort!
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Watch the ceremony (or Deena shaking around like crazy) below! Enjoy!
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